I heard this text a while ago and it touched me, so I wrote it down. Already with the idea of maybe placing it on my blog some day.
I hesitated though. ‘Just a quote’ was too much not mine. And this website/blog is made with my content. Text, film and picturewise. Only a quote from someone else, although I deeply connect with it, doesn’t pass the high standards I set for myself.
My cat’s not doing well. Again. I can’t even begin to tell how I’m affected by that. There are too much (trigger)strings attached.
He’s not really sick (this time), but he doesn’t eat. He wants to, but nothing seems to be ‘good enough’. Not even the things he used to ‘run away with’. Variation doesn’t do the trick either and there’s only so much a cat can take. If he continues like this I’ll be losing him. I’m not up for that, but my sources are running dry and there’s not much more I can do.
“It feels like I deeply failed myself.
And my cat.”
Anyway, lying in bed I had a hard time letting go of the worries.
Disconnecting would be an option, but that doesn’t feel right in this situation. If he’s ‘going under’ any time soon, I own him my presence.
But that’s hard as well, given the fact that all safety nets are gone due to vacation time.
So I tried to distract myself. and scrolled around my phone. I found this text again and figured I could attempt to make a picture to go along side with it.
Now I’m roughly three hours of distraction further.
At least that’s something.
And of course the picture. That’s something too.
Now I’m hoping the sleeping pills will finally kick in.
So after all I still chose disconnection.
It feels like I deeply failed myself.
And my cat.
Translation picture:
” Everybody has been little, you also had to climb on high chairs in order to be able to get at the table. And it was possible for you to hide, between all those legs. You might not remember it, you didn’t remember because it was a trancient moment, of no importance to you. Because you knew for a fact, some day you would catch up and with big steps walk with others simultaneously. But it’s about the fact that you’ve all been there. You know what it’s like. So we don’t need to spill another word on that.“
~ Arthur Japin
